Ravi Mohan's Blog

Monday, June 04, 2007

On an unwillingness to pay the price

This is something I've started noticing recently. A lot of people claim they want something and then balk at paying the price. The pattern is
  1. I want X. I soooooo wish I could have/be X
  2. Sure why not, Do A, B and C and there is no reason you can't have/be X.
  3. Urmm yeah but that's too tough.. I don't want to do that.

Here is an example.

A friend says "Dude I wish I could stop working on enterprise software and work on cool projects like you do". ME :"Sure you can , just work through these books, learn the required math and you can work on these things too. I have more work than I can handle and would be glad to give you some." Friend:" Maths!!! I hate maths!" or "yeah dude but that's gonna take me two years!! That's too long"

A variant on this, particularly applicable to relationships (of any kind) is an unwillingness to reciprocate. If you expect people to care about you and devote significant amounts of time to you, common sense says you have to do the same for them. I've seen many (too many) people who are very focussed on "taking" and not so much on "giving". Which is fine but then I hear complaints of "I am un appreciated/my husband left me/my girlfriend acts remote/ I don't have friends I can trust".

I don't get it. Is it too old fashioned to believe that one has to actively and diligently work for the really good things in life, whether the aim is a good job or a good relationship or something else?

9 comments:

Joe Williams said...

"one has to actively and diligently work for the really good things in life"


Amen Brother! fwiw, this occurs among some scientists as well. "I want the Nobel Prize but I don't want to work for it"

Venkatesh Sellappa said...

Spot on.

This has got a lot to do with the culture of wanting things now in all spheres of life, may be - its because its easy to see and hear people who have reached the "promised land". No-one of course sees the long-hard struggle to reach that state.

With regards to programming/computer science, I just feel the whole field now has a mass-produced feel to it. Everyone and his dog is a programmer , look at shelves bulging with books talking up the latest fad du-jour and guess what-you can learn it in 21 days. Maths,why would i need that.. ?

Anonymous said...

"just work through these books"

could you list them ?

Ravi said...

@anonymous,
I will, one of these days though I've referred to many of these books in my blog posts. In general take any classic book in the area you are interested in, and teh bibliography will provide more pointers than you could follow in a life time.

Anonymous said...

click click...

aho ! my wise friend ... hows it going..

on the books part, i really think its high time you have a "recommended reading list". i'm looking forward to see them too..

hope we have something in common there :)

i'll have an account here soon, and a home page soon. so the anonymity should be over soon :)

take care my friend ...

click click...

Ravi said...

yeah ok i'll add a reading list in the next post then

Anonymous said...

This from someone who wrote "I have one of those "meaning of this relationship" talks coming up with the girlfriend. Urrgh! I'll never understand women! I do NOT intend to marry anybody. do NOT! NOT!"

Ravi said...

@the last anonymous,
must be nice being a total idiot isn't it? I mean mixing random sentences from different blog posts without knowing anything of the context! What does not paying the price for something one wants have to do with a decision not to marry?

Oh well, expecting intellect in anonymous morons is probably not a good idea!

Joe Williams said...

"expecting intellect in anonymous morons is probably not a good idea!"

caravans and canines my friend, caravans and canines. I suspect this particular "anonymous" is one of those who can't follow chains of logical inference.

hint to Mr Anon : You may want to look up the exact meaning of a => b in logic (and therefore in making a point or in argumentation). It is obvious you have no idea what unidirectional implication means.